


Something Chemical

by melissmallfic



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 08:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3242207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melissmallfic/pseuds/melissmallfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Debbie really doesn't understand what Ian sees in Mickey.</p><p>Set in some vague season time period that is probably not now. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Chemical

Mickey Milkovich was sitting at the Gallagher kitchen table and Debbie supposed you could technically call what he was doing eating breakfast. But she felt that was a generous description since Mickey ate like someone who'd been raised in a jungle and only recently brought to live among humans. He chewed with his mouth open, loudly. He tore into his toast like it owed him money, getting dripping peanut butter all over his fingers. He then sucked his peanut butter-covered fingers into his mouth. He barely waited to swallow his food before he was chasing it with coffee. Again, loudly. 

Debbie was used to disgusting boys, she had four brothers after all. But though Carl was still in the thick of it, Lip and Ian had gradually grown out of it. Lip maybe not entirely, but Ian was neat and clean. He liked to smell good and look better. When she watched him next to Mickey it was like they came from two different planets. Her brother didn't end up covered in his own breakfast, or if he did he used a  _napkin_ to clean himself.

After he had cleared his plate, in disgustingly record time, Mickey burped loudly and stood up from the table. "Gonna make more toast."

Ian nodded and smiled. "Make me another one." Mickey grunted and walked over to the bread on the counter, sticking two slices into the toaster, and then walking towards the stairs. "Where ya goin'?" Ian asked.

Mickey turned around and made a face. "You really wanna know?" Debbie couldn't hold back the gagging noise that came out of her mouth. She was even more horrified when Ian and Mickey both laughed--at  _her_. 

Debbie waited until she heard Mickey stomp into the upstairs bathroom and slam the door before she turned back to Ian. "I don't get it," she said, shaking her head. 

"Get what?" Ian said.

"You and.  _Him_." Her whole body shivered on the last word.

"Why?" Ian asked, not sounding offended, just curious. 

"Ian, he's disgusting. Do you see how he  _eats_?"

"So?"

"It doesn't bother you?"

"Nope." The toast popped up and Ian got up. He ruffled Debbie's hair as he walked past her. She turned around to watch him as he spread peanut butter. He smiled when he noticed her looking at him. "I think it's hormones. Or pheromones, or something," he said.

"What's hormones?" Mickey said, walking over to Ian's side. He pointed at one slice of toast. "More peanut butter." Ian grinned and leaned down to quickly kiss Mickey's neck. Mickey shoved him. "Fuck off." But Debbie saw that Mickey's neck was turning red. He returned to his seat across from Debbie.

"Why some people find things attractive and other people don't." Ian brought two plates back to the table and sat down. The food was barely on the table before Mickey had his piece in his hand and was shoving it in his mouth. "Like that."

"What?" Mickey said, mouth full of bread and peanut butter. He looked back and forth between Ian and Debbie. 

"I think it's cute that you eat like a fucking pig, and Debbie thinks you're disgusting."

Debbie slapped Ian on the arm, mortified to be called out in front of Mickey. He might be totally gross, but she wouldn't say it to his face. But Mickey just laughed.

Debbie shook her head and turned back to Ian. "What does that have to do with hormones?"

"It's chemical. Ya know, if somebody grosses you out, you probably shouldn't be with them." Debbie made a face and shook her head. Ian blew out a puff of air, trying to figure out how to explain what he meant. Mickey watched them two of them as he ate, enjoying how poorly the conversation was going.

"I got it!" Ian said finally. "You ever notice how somebody smells after they worked out or just are all sweaty?"

Wrinkling her nose, Debbie nodded. "Yeah, it's nasty."

"Okay, but if you were attracted to somebody, you might like that smell." He looked at Mickey and Debbie could tell something about this conversation had changed. Mickey had put his food down and seemed just as interested as Debbie in where Ian was going with this. "I think you can tell a lot about how much you really like someone if you like how they smell. If you want to touch them when they're sweaty. If, when other people want to back off, you just want to get closer."

Debbie felt herself disappearing from her brother's vision entirely. She was obviously still sitting next to him, but in that moment it was like she didn't even exist. He and Mickey were staring at each other in a way that both annoyed her and made her burn with envy. Mickey had the corner of his lower lip between his teeth and his eyes were darting all over Ian's face. And her brother was mostly staring at his boyfriend's mouth. She sighed and rolled her eyes, pushing away from the table. She didn't want to be caught in the middle of whatever this was.

"Well, now I think you're both gross. So...thanks for clearing that up," she said. She heard Ian and Mickey's laughter trailing after her. She'd never understand boys.

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this video from the Pete Holmes show a while ago and it totally connected with me. It's really only the first 30 seconds or so (unless you like fart jokes) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kuUEpA1_24
> 
> Find me on tumblr at onlysmallfic.


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